Redemption
by DeanRiordain
Summary: (Canonverse Destiel): It's taken a long time. Death, Possession, Banishment- but Dean still never admitted his feelings- to Castiel, or to anyone else. It's long overdue. This is absolutely fluffy and romantic, and also short. One of the many ways I could see Destiel becoming canon.


"You...love me."

It wasn't a question. Dean already knew the answer. He suspected he had known the answer for some time, known that Castiel loved him. Somewhere, in his heart, buried under lock and key, he imagined that he'd also known and feared that he felt the same. So now, he was looking down at the table in the bunker, staring intensely into the stains in the wood, arms apart, supporting himself, because, he couldn't look at him- couldn't face him.

"Yes."

Dean's heart did some sort of flip. The kind they depict in those sappy chick-flick movies, when the girl finds out that the guy's fallen in love with them, against all odds. But Dean wouldn't tell you that, because, as far as anyone was concerned- he didn't do chick flicks...and he certainly didn't have chick flick moments. Not like this.

Castiel sounded so resolute, so sure. And, why shouldn't he? He'd given up everything for Dean, time and time again. "Listen to me. You're all that matters," Cas affirmed, walking over to Dean with confidence in every step. The truth was finally out, and Dean chuckled dryly at the table, continuing to lean on it.

"What?" Cas asked, stopping in his steps.

"We're a couple of dumbasses, that's what." And by that he. He was a dumbass. It had taken death, humanity, possession, and banishment for him to come to terms with his own feelings. Castiel wasn't his brother. But the love was just as real.

"Dean…" Castiel tilted his head, and Dean looked up for a moment, wondering when, exactly, he noticed that Castiel's eyes were so blue- more beautiful than the sky, easily the best part of heaven. He turned away, trying to hide his guilt, and shame.

He jumped when he felt Castiel's hand rest gently on his, "You deserve to be happy. Look at the world around you. The world is a better place, because of you, and because of Sam. You did that, Dean."

He didn't. He didn't deserve to be happy after all the times he'd let people, good people, his family down. He shook his head.

"Look at me," Castiel said, bending to eye level with Dean, "You deserve to be saved. You deserve to be happy, Dean. There are...many things...that I still don't understand about humans. How stubborn you are, particularly you Winchesters," he chuckled, "But I'll learn. And there are things that you need to learn too, Dean. How to let people in. How to feel like your life means more than sacrifice...because it does," his tone had dropped there. He knew Dean too well, knew that the words had been said to him time and time again, and hadn't made a difference, "And you need to learn to be happy. I want…" he let go of Dean's hand, balling his fists at his side, and sighing like he was trying to find the right words, "I want to help you find a way to be happy." He shook his head, "I want to try to be someone that…" he stopped again, "I think I could make you happy, Dean."

"You do," it was so low it was barely audible, except, of course, to Cas, because he was a freakin' angel, and could probably hear his thoughts if they were prominent enough. "You do make me happy, Cas." _Happy, and sad, and nervous, and worried, and pissed the fuck off._ And, wasn't that the problem? It was _selfish_ to need someone in this life. Because they'd already lost so many. Dad, and Bobby, and Kevin and Charlie. They were family, and being family to the Winchester's was imminent death, ultimate sacrifice...and no matter how hard Dean had tried, he hadn't managed to protect them, to hold onto them. He was responsible. Those deaths were on his hands, no matter what anyone said. "But that doesn't matter. I hurt everyone I-"

"Love?" Cas finished, "I'm an angel of the lord, Dean. I think I'll manage."

"No," His arms were shaking against the table, he couldn't fight the truth any more than he could fight the word, "Because one day, we're gonna stop being lucky, Cas. I can't lose you, too. Not on my watch."

"And you might do something stupid, like always, and get yourself killed. And we'll figure it out, we always do. I choose you, Dean- cursed or not, right?" he tilted Dean's chin up, "Is that what you're afraid of? Death? I've seen you beat death a hundred times. And if you die, I'll find you wherever you are. If you're in hell, I will raise you from perdition as many times as it takes. If you are in heaven, I will find you there, and we can build our own. Or, if you live out the rest of your life on this Earth, I will walk it with you, because you are all that matters, Dean. Everything we have done has brought us here, even our mistakes- countless amounts of them. There are enough things to fight, and this...you and I...should not be one of them."

"Hey, man," Dean half-smiled, his voice cracking, "No chick flick moments."

"I won't tell anyone, Dean." Cas' eyes narrowed. It was always hard to tell whether the angel was being serious, or making a joke- but this time, Dean could tell it was the latter. There would be time, time for them to learn each other. There would be time for all those things. But now, it was time for something else, something that was long overdue.

He'd almost done it so many times without a thought, which, he supposed was what love did to someone. Made them vulnerable, made them careless.

He was a little taller than Cas, but it wasn't significant enough that their eyes didn't meet. Looking into his eyes, he could see so many colors that exploded to create the perfect hue of blue; and, Cas began to count every single freckle in the constellation of them that was Dean. There was more than connection. What Castiel had called a profound bond. It was an understanding...something more than love, something deeper- and something solid, something so real that it slammed into Dean full force.

And he loved him, and it all seemed so petty to have not given him that love so much sooner.

His arm wrapped around Castiel, hand resting on the small of his back above the trench coat as he pulled him closer, leaning so close that Dean's breath tickled Cas' lips. It took his breath away.

"Don't ever change," Dean whispered, their noses brushing before their lips finally met. Castiel's lips yielded to Dean's intrusion, opening as his arms flew up around Dean, closing the last bit of distance between them.

Cas just held him there, and when his tongue pushed at Dean's mouth, he succumbed, feeling his heart pick up, feeling his fucking knees go weak; because, damn, it was like he'd never been kissed before, and because _this_...this was not 'I love you', this was _bonded._ There was nothing left but them, here, in this moment, Castiel dragging his lips over Dean's, tongues dancing, Dean not even realizing his other hand was clinging on to Castiel's messy hair.

This was it. The fireworks, the spark, the death of who he had been, and everything he'd ever done wrong. If he deserved to be saved, then Castiel was his redemption, and if the redeeming felt this good, he felt he might as well give it a shot.

 _Don't you ever change, Cas. Don't ever change._


End file.
